what is NEW WITH MY POSITIVE LEVEL

its been a while since i updated my blog. i kinda miss it. well, now that i have quit my salary job, i have to work hard to get a comfortable challenging life with my commission based salary. its sucks actually for the transformation but your positive level have to be higher than it supposed to be.

i remember when i wanted to quit my job badly cuz i cant stand looking at the people who keep closing deals and im stuck at work, my level of positivity and thinking was different. i know i can do this better but now after i do this work, i felt like "what the heck ya'll?" maybe because im in the environment of DEBT. that is a negative aura already. i need to change my mentality. enough of thinking about debt. i shall think about future instead of thinking about debt debt debt debt debt.

what do I want to achieve as my goals?

1) help people making fortune for themselves so I can make my own fortune. the reason why I keep posting about "do you want to be a millionaire?" is because I cant bare to keep seeing people begging for money, insulted being a pak guard, etc. i want people to know my intention not only to do sale to feed me. seeing my customer happy is my goal too.

2) my family is not born rich. dad n mum struggle their life with 4kids and raising all girls are quite pricey. i understand how hard it is for me to accept actually that i have terrible face because my parents couldnt afford to buy me cleanser for my face when i was small. what mum always say "try to steam your face with a hot boil water at home" and i didnt do it because i want the tools, not traditional ways". demanding. im sure once i have a daughter or a son, they might have this kind of attitude first. therefore, i need to be ready to have some cash for them to buy their needs.

3) looking at my family that have debt, wanting to go here n there but still thinking "i dont have that much....need to keep some more" and im tired keep asking them if i can lend their money when im stuck. i know lending money from them is cheaper, no tax or interest but still, its sickening as im 28, married. well, i dont like to ask my husband to pay for my debt if he is not using. that's actually my own decision, he dont mind but i do. lol

4) to have my own house, my own privacy and my own walk in closet. yeah!!!

5) to buy my dream car... Hummer H3, BMW i8 spider and Panamera

6) to buy my own superbike and nakjed bike - Harley davidson and kawasaki ninja green always my fav

7) to bring my parents to umrah during ramadhan. they keep saying this since 2010 and yet to go. i hope 2014 they have the chance to go. i also wanna go :)

8) to change my own perception that I can be a better person, better consultant and better wife to my husband. i always doubt myself so i should no more. i have to change. its begin now!

i have so many negative thoughts now, it just i cant say too much to anyone because they could give up on me immediately.

i can conqure the social media but because of the stupid jerk guy in twitter, i have to keep myself shut about unit trust in twitter. i have blocked him. he ruins every single plans that I have but thats not gonna pull me down. i will rise again. just wait and see. that time, i will make sure, you will invest with me and make him eat back what he have said.

many factors that make me down actually.

debt, in laws and close mind people. insyaAllah after this, no more of this can affect me. i will succeed with my own hands and nobody can say bad things about me. no more!!

please poray for my success, because i wanna make my parents happy and myself happy. your prayers is appreciated. insyaAllah, Allah will help you back for the prayers. Amin

from monthly kachings to monthly commission's

I salute to all sales people who dont over think about quitting their monthly salary jobs to monthly commission based salary. They know if they dont have the thick skin, be nice to people and lots of patience, they will not succeed in this sales industry.
For me, i over think what people will say about me, what if i fail bla bla bla instead i should say why not I do this or why not I ignore all the negatives thought and put it aside and just freakin do it? Why the heck i kept thinking
Im not pretty, nobody will say 'look at you! I wanna invest oredi' - this sentences can actually make me down to the road. Because im not pretty, im sure nobody will invest w me
I stutter - because i use to speak w all bad words so its hard to keep diplomatic and political when i have to think n.speak at the same times. If i keep it quiet, i lose the oppprtunity.
Everybody said I stutter, i should be more confidence. I AM AT MY HIGHEST CONFIDENCE LEVEL BUT WHEN I HEAR ONE BAD THINGS, ITS HARD TO GET IT BACK. haish. Ignore those words shaz. Ignore ignore.
Hubby said this to me, if despatch who have the ugliest face on earth can do, a makcik who doesnt have anything or english speaking skills can do, why cant you?
I use to do things without thinking before but i paid the highest price when everyone hated me. Now, im not gonna go back to that phase but i need to survive. I can keep thinking and it doesnt benefits me at all. I need to be think what works and what doesnt work to be aside. Trial and error is good rather than try without thinking.
Now, i need to do some change. I choose this job is to change myself and my family's destiny. I CAN DO THIS SHAZ!! I CAN!!!!! IGNORE THOSE MOTHAFACKAS.

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unit trust scheme

What is this scheme? Izzit 'Skim Cepat Kaya' / be rich faster scheme and scam people's money? Or izzit Multi Level Marketing?
None of the above are true.

Have you heard of ASB, ASN, ASW, SSPN all those from government intention? If you have, its the same. They help you to grow your money for your own use but mostly?, you have to apply loan to get some amount in Jan, dividen amount.

In Unit trust, we dont condonce loans. We can give you 67% of the loan but u need to take out your own money of 33% and the risk even crazier than taking loans. You need to pay at least extra 300 from the actual pay of the month you have committed.

We basically will give 12-18% within 2-3yrs average returns and also capital gain. Surely personal service consultant will help you to manage ur fund. You dont have to worry a bit unless the consultant run away or such but again, we have authority under Security Commission, FIMM to cover, and Our mother company too.

How to invest? You can use EPF Acc 1 and base by age, we will calculate and take 20% of the following. Attached is the picture of the calculation and your age. RM1000 min needed in your account 1. Therefore, this is incase you dont know how it work. attach is the calculation for the EPF Acc

Let say you are 28yrs old, your account 1 have rm44,124.32. And ur basic saving account  according to ur age is rm19000. 44 124.32 - 19000 = 25 124.32 x20% = 5024.32. We will take rm5000 as ur investment. Get it?

Cash or Lumpsum - your minimum savings rm1000 as initial and monthly you can put how many amount w minimum of rm100. Usually, this i would suggest you to put more than
Rm100 because at least, you can see the difference.

So hopefully, you will benefits this more when we meet face to face so i can show u the trend, the testimonials from previous clients etc. . .

Anything do contact me at 0166206040. This is for business purpose ya. Anyone call me to ask for money lending or to disturb me and make our life miserable, not accepted ok?

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kesalahan

Mcm mana nak buang rasa guilty?
Macam mana nk buang semua rasa yg x bagus?
I need help. Help?

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dosa silam

Banyak dosa aku. Sampai tuhan balas cash je skang. Kalau nak minta maaf pon xde siapa nak.maafkan melainkan aku betul2 da berubah. Kadang2 sampai giveup nak berubah. Asik nak berubah sbb orang tp xde sebab nak berubah sbb diri sendiri.

Now barulah terasa bila mcm2 sangat da jadi, aku xkan jadi baik. Makin rasa as the biggest Loser around.

I need to change but im too weak. Suami aku perlukan aku tp kalau aku masih mcm ni, die pon down. Aku pon down.

Susah kalau cuba berubah tanpa hati menyuruh. Solat pon lg seminggu nak period, baru rajin, yes, memang aku solat seminggu je sebulan sbb lepas period yg 2minggu xhabis2 walau sikit,membuatkan aku malas.

Quran, bukan aku xnak baca. Aku xselesa kat rumah aku. Bising. Tgk tv kuat, menjerit2. Nak solat x kusyuk. Nak buat apa pon payah. Tension. Pastu bila bilik berselerak rasa mcm rimas. Kemas2 pon selerak. Kemas2 pon selerak. Kusut tau. Kusut.

Ni alasan aku bg ni kan, alasan syaitan create utk aku. Banyak sangat alasan. Ade org solat ketika berperang, bunyi peluru sume, lagi bising tp aku? Tv bole tutup, budak menjerit boleh diamkan mereka. Senapang? Kau nak tutup mcm mana?

Dilemma betul. Nak berubah macam mana ni? Da minta maaf kat facebook rasa x appropriate, nak jumpa, aku da xsuka sbb nnt takot terrapat balik. Argh. What the heck am I doing?

Seriously aku kena ade ustaz or ustazah yg boleh bimbing aku. Mak bapak aku da x lalu dah dan x lali dah nak dgr. Kena yoga sambil berzikir. Baru tenang agaknya.

Hidup rasa bosan gile babi. Sangat bosan. Sangat sangat bosan.v

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dugaan

Dugaan demi dugaan.

Kali ini kaitan dengan listening skill. Skill mendengar. Nampak mudah tapi sebenarnya susah. Bila kita xberapa suka seseorang atau sesuatu, kita automatik akan menjadi memilih dalam mendengar. Mungkin kita pilih hanya utk dengar kutukan, pujian, benda penting dan sebagainya.

Terlalu susah kadang-kadang seseorang tu nak mengaku die x dengar tapi die nak menang, die akan cakap 'aku tetap dengar mcm ni. Kau jangan menipu! Ko ckp mcm tu sbb ko nak tuduh aku'.

Bile perasaan negative terhadap seseorang, tahap pemilihan dr segi mendengar pon hanya akan jadi negative dan pemikiran menguasai segalanya.

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rintihan

Teruknya perangai aku.

Serious.

Teruk.

Aku

Tak

Sanggup

Lagi.

Ya Allah, aku xmampu nak minta maaf pada semua. Keinginan aku utk memohon maaf tapi tak terdaya. Ampunilah aku Ya Allah. Sesungguhnya kau sahaja yang mampu memaafkan aku.

Maafkan wawa ye. Bukan tidak mahu kesana, hatiku pedih sakit dan malu. Malu kerana dihalau. Ah, berbuat baik pon tiada gunanya.

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Tiada Visa Ke Jepun - no more visa to Japan and what I do now?

Yeay!

I am so happy that we dont need the bloody god damn visa to go to Japan but they are smart. they terminated Air Asia so we cant travel to Japan too often. I think i know why hahaha

Anyway,

i am so happy that I am now changing bit by bit. All because i have join this one group (Excellent Affirmation Achievers or Erin Adlina Achievers group).

if i know my strength is with sales, i wouldnt be bother studying Broadcasting. i would take marketing, business admins or anything related to it. if i have done this since 2004, now I dont need to suffer, face all these obstacle and such.

Well, lets forget about the pass. I am thankful that I know Erin right after i came back from Japan, she told me she could help me with my financial problems. at first, i was being -ve and always been. days after days, i found out, i am actually good in selling. not much yet as i am still working but soon will be full time swinger. :D

penat

Pernah tak penat dengan kehidupan? Aku penat. Dah tak lalu lagi nak jadi aku. Penat jadi diri sendiri, masih ramai x mengerti diri aku. Penat jadi orang lain utk menggembirakan orang lain, tetap tak dihargai. Sehingga aku fikir, adekah aku dilahirkan utk dihina, dikeji dan dianiayai? Penat. Seriously penat. Xpernah terfikir dek akallah nak menggembirakan hati orang lain.

Aku cuba nak gembirakan hati aku, tp aku tinggal didunia yg penuh manusia. Aku cemburu melihat orang lain boleh buat apa yg mereka suka dan diterima orang lain. Perangai keji pon. Adekah sbb aku xberduit lalu orang minta aku jadi seperti mereka? Baik? Seriously, penat berpura, penat berbaik dan penat menjadi orang yang jahat sentiasa.

Kwn aku teros terang dgn aku. 'kalau ko penat, senang. Mati je. Tak perlu keje lagi, xperlu hidup menghadap orang dan xyah bernafas pon. Xpenat pon'. Aku blom cukup ilmu Allah dalam diriku. AlQuran pon baca xtengok meaning dan xfahami ayat2 didalam. Aku sampai terfikir, kenapa aku ni ditimpa kesusahan? Apa yang Allah cuba sampaikan pada aku? Kenapa waktu aku ade duit, Allah xbagitau aku 'simpan duit tu, sebab kalau ko miskin waktu bekerja, semua benci kau'. Hasutan syaitan menguasai aku dulu dr kecik menyebabkan aku tidak menyimpan. Disiplin diri pon xda.

Ntahlah. Sangat penat.

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what happend 25.5.2013

Its not easy to be human. Its not easy to be me. I have tried my best to please people, i have tried my best to make people believe in me, but i guess everything i do, i do it wrongly. No matter how hard i tried, how strong I am, still will be blame. People dont understand my sarcasm, i blame my stupidity in arranging words. When I tell people honestly what i think, they said i dont even know how to respect. I always thought letting ppl know the truth is better but i always forgot, only I went for training to be who i am. Not all of them to be who they are.
So its true, being yourself cant be done in anywhere in the part of the world. U have to be someone powerful and rich, so you can be who anyone you like. And its true, whenever you say or do good, people will always take the bad of you. Not the good ones, no matter how good you do, if they have set their mind no matter how good, it pretencious. Try to do more things to reach to another's limit.
And now I know, i wasnt welcome at all from the first place. They dont know what happen if I dont come into his life. He is tired of everything, false accusations, lies and humiliations done by the people of his own blood. He kept it with him as he thought he is stupid which I know he have his own good value of himself.
People always call him stupid, i tried to stop them and get him to believe that he is not what they say but too many of them said the same thing and i dont have the power to let him forget what they say about him. They call him thief, i protect by tellin him he is not. I have done my best to build him up as a real human being and not garbage or any lower than it. Sadly, no one appreciates that. They only see the bad things out from me. Unfortunately,i too, tired of everything.
Now I know why I dont have any babies. They dont welcome me to be the mother of their grandchildren, that is why no matter how hard we tried to get a child, it wont go through. I guess, maybe its time to get him another woman of their choice. Who knows, he will be happier. Nauzubillah.

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being a mother - how cool of i can get the chance

I saw my friend posted about being a mother in Japan is a no no because of the stress level being a mother in Japan. I always wanted to raise my child there because Malaysians doesnt really look into all aspects in raising their kids. What they want is only 'education education' but doesnt really look into moraly, values of life and values being in other's life.

I have one opportunity to raise a baby who is yet to be born but im just afraid i cant be a good mother and good parents to the baby. Me n husband really wants it but unfortunately, we cant have it yet. Many aspects needs to be discuss. What happen if i change job? What happen of i cant survive? I just dont know. . .

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Nukilan Kasih Ke2

Bila suami/isteri minta kita utk berhias utk pergi kerja, keluar dengan dia, ikutlah permintaannya. Jangan malas. Mungkin dia nak bangga dgn pasangan dia pandai bergaya, cantik/handsome, dan tahu jaga diri utk pasangan. Ramai pasangan yang dah kawin kadang2 malas jaga diri sendiri. Katanya 'aku da kawin,xyah jaga2 badan lagi dah'. Bila suami/isteri cari lain, barulah menggelabah nak menukar segalanya. Melalak2 menyesal xjaga dr awal.

Penampilan itu memanglah hanya berhias utk suami bagi sang Isteri. Tapi sekiranya suami minta walau bukan depan dia, dia mahu orang memuji isterinya dan juga dia.'Pandai si mamat tu jaga bini dia. Kemas je dia pakai, pandai mekap, cantik. Bini kita? Macam xpenah mandi, busuk, baju selekeh.' kita pon selesa tengok pasangan kita comel je, lawa, handsome dan mcm2. Bila sorg selekeh, sorg handsome, xke nampak pelik? 'bini punya selekeh, husband handsome nak mampos. Xreti jaga diri langsung. Baik kapel dgn aku, barulah sama padan' kadang2 bila perempuan lepak ramai2 dan tengok mcm ni, inilah yang mungkin dorg cakap. Sama juga dgn kaum laki.

Saya pon pernah disound kawan2 apsal pakai macam teenagers. Pakailah mcm makcik2 sket. Barulah nampak dah kawin. Suami saya tak suka, nampak selekeh. Die nak saya nampak matang dan bergaya. Kalau gaya teenagers kena dengan saya, dia xkisah. So jangan dengar cakap orang sangat. Dengar cakap suami/isteri.

Ego tu letak tepi. Xyah nak berlagak.

Yg Baik datangnya dr Allah, yang buruknya mestilah Ostajah punya.

Nukilan Kasih Pertama

Kepada yg telah berkahwin, sekiranya suami/isteri xsuka sesuatu tu, janganlah buat. Kita tatau apa jadi akan datang. Kita berkahwin bukan utk sekejap. Eternity.

Sekiranya rasa telah mengabaikan isteri/suami, lakukanlah sebaik mungkin utk pulihkan keadaan. Jangan cari alasan utk cari lain walhal perkara boleh dibincangkan. Kepercayaan dan kejujuran itu paling penting dalam perkahwinan. Perbincangan haruslah kerap dilakukan utk memperbaiki keadaan. Sekiranya terlalu payah nak cerita, ingat kembali zaman bercinta bila Semua benda pon nak bgtau sidia.

Perkahwinan bukan bermaksud sume benda nak cakap. Yg mana harus dicakap, cakap. Yang mana tak patut, diamkan saja. Tapi perkahwinan bukan maksud terikat sampai bisu terus. Boleh berkata2 dengan elok, juga boleh dibawa berbincang. Perbincangan jangan dibawa sekali dengan emosi, memang xjalan. Haruslah dikawal dgn matang. Dah kawinlah katakan, haruslah matang. Kalau perangai mcm budak2, anak pon keliru siapa budak, siapa dewasa.

Pergaulan sebagai seorang suami/isteri diluar haruslah ada batasan. Sekiranya ade orang yang suka sms saja2 'sayang,baby,honey' dan sebagainya, kita yg dah kawin kena ingatkan mereka, 'maaf, saya punya isteri/suami, prbualan begini boleh memudaratkan hubungan kami. Minta jangan lagi sms begini'. Jujur pada mereka. Kalau degil juga, beritahu pada pasangan sesiap supaya mereka tidak marah dan sedih. Sekali terluka, payah nak pulih semula. Lagi2 begini, si Isteri walau die kata okay, payah nak buat dia percaya lagi. Mungkin boleh memudaratkan si Isteri.

Dengan adanya social media, ramai mengabaikan tanggungjawab sebagai isteri/suami. Yang dok.mengadap pesbuk,twidder, dan sebagainya bila suami dan isteri alpa, anak lupa makan, suami ke isteri sakit, satu tangan pegang hp, sebelah lagi urut depa. Lagu mana tu?

Limitkan diri. Jangan terlalu sibuk dengan kerja, media massa sehingga lupa anak dan isteri/suami. Pandai bahagikan waktu dengan mereka. Kalau payah sangat, buat jadual. Kalau nak berjaya dalam hidup, kunci kebahagiaan ade 3.

1) hubungan sesama manusia
2) kewangan
3) kesihatan

Sekiranya semua ini tiada, payah kita dan kita juga yang rugi. Lagi2 kalau ade suami/isteri yang baik, ikut je cakap, xpernah merungut, dan sebagainya, hargailah mereka. Xperlu dgn membeli barang, luangkan masa bersama mereka merupakan sesuatu yang indah.

Ingatlah, kita berkahwin bukan sebab ikut orang, bukan sebab nak seks sahaja, bukan sebab nak bebas dari keluarga. Kita kahwin kerana tanggungjawab, persediaan kita sbg seorg ibu, ayah, suami, isteri dan anak kepada keluarga kita. Bukan utk membuktikan siapa hebat tapi utk membentuk ummah yang baik,mulia dan sopan.

Datangnya dr Allah segala yang baik, yang buruk datangnya dr Saya. - ostajah pilihan sendiri.

give up

First time ever in my life, i give up really badly. Xpenah dalam hidup aku give up mcm ni. Nak kata bodoh, aku pandai. Nak.kata pandai, asik buat benda bodoh je. TIM KAI AAA? TIM KAAI?

First time being a loser. First time having a thought that why should i even live in this world? Argh.

No worries, i wont take my own life. Still have d iman. I just maybe would like to sit back at home and think carefully. Shall i take 2weeks break and leave everything behind?

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thank you husband

Sayang,
I never tell you this and i really want you to know
How i am grateful to have you as my husband
Always there for me
Always know what is the best for me
Always be my clown and my hero

People always perceive you as no value to me
I dont mind if you dont really have education
Money or good job to live together with me
Only me and you know what we have done for us
What you have done to me is more valueable than
What they say about you

Sayang,
Nevertheless i hope our relationship till jannah
I want to have children with you
I want to be cute father and mother with you
I want to be the most attractive and ugliest woman to you
I want to be your only one and my only one
I love you since 9years old
And now its 18years goes on
Hopefully another 180years to go
I want our children to know
How strong my love for you
How strong your love towards me
And how strong we are protecting each other
From obstacle and backstabbers

Sayang,
I love you so much.
Sorry if mama always scolded you when i have pms
Or when i got stress
Sorry if you have to deal with my bipolar attitudes
Sorry for me not being the most perfect one for you
I love you.

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human being

Kenyataan dalam blog ni maybe agak racist tapi g mamposlah. I used to love chinese people because was surrounded w good ones but lama2 kerja dengan dorang, rase nak sepak je. Serious they are one of the person who you should avoid working with. From an European company, can change to Chinaman company. Kaki gossip, backstab, suka cuci tangan, kuat mengampu dan sebagainya. Paling aku geli ialah kau yg kuat mengampu, kata orang. Dalam banyak2 manusia dalam dunia ni, family aku xpenah reti membodek, dari mak aku, ayah aku hinggalah adik beradik beserta suami aku n abang ipar aku. Kalau kitorg ni pandai membodek, aku rase ayah aku da Tun da, adikberadik aku da kaya raya, xyah keje, goyang kaki je. Besides, xmainlah nak mengampu sekadar head of Department and MD Malaysia je. . . Hello, jatuh standard aku la. Nak mengampu, baik CEO of the whole company. Kat europe tu ha. Kamonlah, im not that cheap like you. Everyday i tried to forgive you but i cant and i hope i can forget or be amnesia so i can do work well. I guess Allah give me amnesia for my work so that i can leave the company w bad names. Maybe I was the culprit you would say but entahlah. I just getting tired and tired dealing w humans. Kadang2 rase nak minta Allah jadikan aku ikan paus je. Xpon singa laut. Haish. Sampai mcm ni.skali aku kesal dealing w humans. I dont know what makes you can sleep at night doin all this bad things in d world. Xpelah, tempat kau memang neraka pon. Ha amek ko. Sorry, i know.some.chinese are good, but i just cant stand from my company. Freakin biyatch!!

my life.

I dont know what I wanna do for living. Done film production, love it but not gonna earn dat much in Malaysia. Passed. Done secretary job, hate it when ppl hate me so much for me representing my boss. Done HRBusiness Partner job, i suck at managing human, then i do Recruitement, suck in closing the positions and cant give quality CV.

Im sucks at everthing that I have done. Now trying Public Mutual Agent. Heard many agents now and not much potential clients. Im on my way of successs, but always been stopped by some satans or obstacles.

I just wanna be rich, stay away from BANKS, live my own lufe without people micro managing me. Aiyo. I just cant take it. I need two weeks of break from anything. Studying, working, be a housewife, everything.

Sometimes im tired being me. I dont know how come i can survive this long. Why i dont be sampah masyarakat je senang? Haish.

I am never a quitter, suddenly feels like I am one now. I just need some professional help. Help?

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reason for wearing hijab.

Some people wear it because of God
Some people wear it because of parents
Some people wear it because of friends
Some people wear it because of trend
Some just dont bother
Some just wear for ocassions

I wear because
Free hair doesnt benefits me
Im not stylish.
My hair looks dull n frizzy
My style is weird
My looks are strange.
I never wear shorts or spagethi strap

Therefore, wearing Hijab is my next step to be near to Him
Im quarter way to be near to Him
Still need to improve my prayers
Still need to improve my Qoran reading
Still need to improve my daily zikir to Him and Rasulullah
Still need to improve my ways of talking

I am humble and decent. Easily to be cheated but easily detected it. Argh. I need a break.

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daily diary

I am sick and tired of myself, my life and anything to do about me. I just dont know what is right, what is wrong with the world and me now. Maybe because i am.sick and tired having a life in Malaysia, i wanna go far far away but im not smart to study or work away from Malaysia. I cant stand anymore with accusations, debt, people not understanding my attitude and askin me to understands them. It just shit. I really not appreciate this. Haish.

pemikiran positif and negatif

Ramai yg memberi kata kata semangat utk mengucapkan tahniah kepada kawan2, sedara dan sesiapa yg mereka kenal jika mereka ingin mendapatkan kerja baru, ambil peperiksaan dan sebagainya. Ade juga yg jenis suka melemahkan semangat orang, beri pengajaran xelok dan bla bla. Inilah yg dikatakan pemikiran positif atau negatif lebih dikenali sbb positive and negative thinking dari orang lain kepada kita dan sekiranya kita ambil sbg positif atau negatif, ianya akan jadi begitu.

Macam saya, terbalik sikit. Sekiranya orang puji saya, bagi kata2 semangat yg terlallu positif, kemungkinan besar saya akan jatuh dan jahanam. Xsure kenapa, masih mencari. Contoh boleh diberikan :
1) ramai puji kaki saya cantik dan putih gebu. Lepas sebulan, sy kemalangan dan bahagian kaki cedera teruk dan banyak parut.

2) semua bagi kata2 semangat dan suruh saya pikir positif yang saya boleh lulus peperiksaan utk jadi Agent Unit Trust, malangnya kerana keyakinan terlalu tinggi, saya fail.

3) tiap2 hari saya berpikiran positif utk berjaya buat kerja bla bla bla, tapi saya kecundang dan dimasukkan kedalam program menaik taraf pekerja. Makin saya focus utk berjaya, saya jatuh dengan hebat.

Mula2 saya terfikir, no 1 maybe Allah nak tunjuk kat saya 'mendedahkan aurat berdosa' tp kalau org puji muka saya cantik ke, tangan ke, pon kene juga, takkanlah aku kena pakai purdah pula?

No 2 orang kata 'kadangkala keyakinan terlalu tinggi pon boleh membawa kejatuhan' tp mcm mana pulak kalau org suruh saya positif dan boleh buat tetiba kecundang? Bodoh la kalau mcm tu. Penah juga saya fikir 'habislah, fail la aku subject ni' saya dpt 3.0gpa. Bila saya cakap 'aku tau subject ni aku dapat 3.0 juga, tetiba 1.66gpa' punyalah kecewa. Saya mengharapkan yg baik tak dapat, yg buruk sama juga yg buruk.

No 3, politik pejabat kah yg menyebabkan aku jd mcm ni atau aku, memang mcm beruk yg xdilatih tuan? Means bodoh mangkuk bahalol botol sumelah. Tiap kali aku da check details, da check semuanya dan keyakinan tinggi xde salah, satu persatu bala datang kat saya. Haish. Pelik, pikir positif dah ni. Otak xlarat dah nak pikir.

Skang saya da belajar. Jangan puji saya langsung, just have faith in your heart. Cabar saya supaya saya akan kerja towards it. Jangan hina, cabar je. Hina dan cabar lain. Kedua, jangan yakin dah. Just ckp 'xsure lulus ke x. Tengoklah' dan ketiga kerja dgn keikhlasan supaya dapat keikhlasan berganda.

Apa kena mengena topik atas.dgn cerita saya? Saya nak bagitau je saya banyak berperangai negatif ni sebab no 1-3 lah cuma xpernah diluahkan kepada sesiapa. Semua ingat saya ni.memang xreti pikir positif. Bukan xnak, slalu jadi terbalik. Sakit jiwa.bila.memikirkan. Kadang2 minta juga pertolonganNya tapi lagi minta kurang, lagi berat beban aku dapat. Aku redha je sebab ustaz pon cakap, lagi berat ujian Allah, lagi bagus utk kita kerana Allah pilih orang itu utk ujian yang berat2 ni Allah tahu kita boleh buat. Dia nak kita jadi matang dengan segala ujianNya.

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kredit kad baik buruknya

Siapa je x suka credit card? Orang kaya pon pakai, yg sederhana lagilah suka credit card dan yg xberduit sangat. Maklumlah, gaji habis, boleh swipe, apa2 pon swipe.

Tahukah anda yg ramai menderita kerana kredit kad? Contohnya saya. Huhu ini membuka pekung didada. Dulu saya pakai dan determine hanya utk.kecemasan. Mase tu, telefon saya rosak, telefon husband jatuh, hati da merayu2 minta beli baru sbb dedua telefon dah x boleh pakai. Nak repair memang xboleh dah.  Gaji time tu rm2000 je so x cukup nak beli immediate dgn hutang bagai, lalu beli hp dgn cc. Then lepas je da tu, tunggu hujung bulan, tetiba tau yg boleh byr minimum, tros saya bayar minimum, tahukah anda jika bayar minimum anda akan suffer macam saya? Sbb kita hanyar byr for example 1468 = 70 je sebulan lebih kurang minimum dia? So org yg xde duit mmg akan byr byk tu je, tapi tunggu bulan2 seterusnya, meninggal nak byr balik.

Ingatlah, sebab credit card juga ramai golongan ditakdirkan bankrupt. Ramai juga ditakdirkan hidup dlm hutang. What do you do differently?

1) get yourself out of it. Dont ever subscribe any credit card. - jauhkan diri anda dr kredit kad. Jangan sesekali pohon apa2 kad kecuali debit card.

2) dont pay the minimum, pay all. If u go broke, try to safe ur money. Bring lunch to work, eat only cheap stuff, keep ur card at home. Dont use it. - jangan bayar minimum, byr semuanya. Kalau xde duit nak tunggu sampai hujung bulan, makan yg murah, simpan card kt rumah atau dlm.kereta, bw bekal ke tempat kerja. Jangan sesekali kata 'xpa, dapat gaji bayaq' takkan terjadi punya.

3) teringin rasa nak kena blacklist dgn CCRIS ? buatlah xbayar. Anda takkan dpt beli rumah, keta, dpt personal.loan dsb.

Ihsan dari saya
Shazawati mohammad
Dari TV - ShaZam huhuhu

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rich n poor

Sometimes im tired being in middle class. I am.jealous looking at ppl who are rich and do whatever they like w the money, without thinking of debt in future. Sometimes, i am jealous lookin at people who are poor, but still can live very happily and enjoy every single moment.

You may see me like i am not grateful bu i am, its just that i am.sick n tired of being me. Been hatred, disrespectful, demotivated and everything. People ask me to reflect it to myself. I did and i cried. How bad am I but thats just who I am. People cant accept me of who I am and why I am accepting people to treat me.like this?

I just need a break from financial, health, relationship and spriritually as I cant stand it at all. Never. I want to have a.life that is enough money, no debt, everything.

My target is rm15k per month worth of salary. I can get it in February. Definitely achiving it. I know My boss can guide me to be the better person and have the faith in me. I need that. BELUEVEEE

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makanan melayu di luar negara

Ramai yg tak sure kalau lepak overseas ni apa orang melayu makan. Ade yg cari kedai makan halal, ade yg cari vegetarian sahaja atau ade yg cari asal xde babi dlm makanan aku, aku bedal je, ade yg gua hentam sahajalah. Darurat.

Mcm aku, (dlm position bersedia akan kena bash dgn semua orang especially serbanista) aku adelah org yg semua diatas. Tipulah kalau aku duduk lama.kat sana aku nak jd vegetarian je kan? Mau tinggal tulang aku. Xde isi. For me, i do ate halal food, vegetarian food or pestarian food (seafood n vege) or as long as my food no pork, i am fineeee. Even sometimes i do eat chicken n beef that was not slaughtered by Muslim. Why? It depends on the situation where am i located w the halal shop. If its too far and times running, aku maybe beli juga tp usually i will buy halal one every weekend.

What if aku xsempat masak n makan luar? I am d type 'if i have enough $$¥¥££€€ i dont mind to go not halal food place. Why? Halal food in everywhere u go, its Expensive. Why? Its imported. Chicken frm brazil, beef from aussie or nz and etc.

Bayangkan in Japan, rm40 just a curry and nan cheese is rm25. Normal nan is rm20. Nasi beriyani is rm80 per plate. Only d nasi and the lamb. The curry is diff price. Gile kau nak makan ni ari2? Mau pokai doh. Aku akan makan mostly udon sbb xde babi dlm ni, usually aku amek yg vegetarian udon, xyah pikir. Rm20 mangkuk beso gedabak. Sedap pon sedap, kenyang nak mampos tau x?

Then aku slalu makan onigiri, nasi tiga segi w seaweed yg dijamin ade ikan salmon, asam masin, sayur dan jelly fish yg dipotong2. 100¥ je. Means rm4 je. Boleh bEli berketul2 dan makan sampai ko pengsan.

For me sushi is expensive but i love d standing sushi, but do u know sushi pon ade x halal? Unagi tu fyi guna alcohol. Xguna x sedap. Some of the cuka they use pon ade alcohol. So mana kau nak tau halal ke x? Xyah mengada nak rasa sume bende la mcm tu. Baik duk malaysia je. Sushi sini murah n dijamin halal, xde alcohol.

For me, if i go there for short time i would find their local food as long as xda babi aja. Sbb xlalu nak makan pon kalau tau itu babi. I would try to avoid to eat ciken or beef but if badan gigil2 gak nak, aku order dan tawakkal.

Adab pertanyaan jika post gambo tu ko npk makanan, jgnla tanya 'weh halal ke ko makan tu?', 'wei ade babi x?' kalau dgn aku, korg tau jawapan apa korg akan dpt kan? 'yes. Dapnya babi, dapnye dapnye.' xpon 'sedapnya daging x halal ni. Pergh. Pergh' . Yes, dats what im gonna write. So jgn ingat ramai melayu jahil. Xpenah tgk ke orang yg xmakan babi tp minum arak mcm takde hal? Kalau penah, then janganlah jadi mereka ok?

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stupidity part 2

Who shall be blame?
Hey look, dats the stupid woman ever,
She cant do work, she is stupid.
And most accurate,
She is dumber than we do.

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stupidity

I am always think im smart.
Unfortunately i am very stupid.
I dont know how to do work.
What to do as for work.
What i am passionate for.
I know i love to talk,
I know i love to inpisred,
But unfortunately in the company,

My talk was bullshit,
My ideas are stupid,
I am no near of inspiriration,
I am no near of success,
I am no near of anything.

Too bad I am no loner what I am.

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what I dont want my kids to suffer

Dear kids,
I hope when you read this,
You dont think like what others think about me and daddy,
I hope you will learn this from us,
We have done a real huge mistakes in our life,
And we dont want you to suffer your future like how we are suffering for few years,
Just to be alive to able to see the world,

Mistakes is good for lesson of life,
You'll learn good and bad things about life,
But we would like you not to repeat our mistakes again,
So you will be learning new mistakes from your time,

Starting from you were born,
I will keep all the money you received and do investment,
This for your study and for your future too,
Your house, your marriage, everything for you,

We would like to see your success in life,
To hold highest education of your dream,
To hold high positions in your career,
To be the highest beside your relatives,
To be highest in your family,
To be highest beside Allah,
And most part,
To be highest in mama dan papa's heart,

Mama and papa did not study well,
We played the most dangerous game in life when we were young,
We almost break every single rule in the country,
We never think of our future,
We always thinks we are going to enjoy life,
Till we are in the working world.

We started w ugliest job,
We were underpaid,
We were struggling to live upside down of the town,
We went broke,
And every month of our salary is only to pay people their money back,

Till we met our new destiny,
Business to run,
That, we have to crawl really slow because
None of us can survive without monthly pay check,
Therefore,
We hope you will never suffer like how we did,
We just want the best for you,

Although,
You are still far away from us,
I know someday you will come to us.

My dear children,
Hopefully mama and papa could hold you for real in 2014.

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selamat 2013

Selamat datang ke dunia 2013. I am one of the survivor of the world ends by mayans. Of course aku xpercaya. Gile? Aku islam lagi okay. Gile mu ni.

New year, new resolutions. New things to be improves, new challenges will be accepted and everything is neww

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