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Friday, February 28, 2014

What Changes my Life and Prespective 1

Hello...

As you all know, I am kind of observant girl. i will observe everything and then I will express in whatever way I can huhuhu.

above all the nonsense I got from marriage till now, what did I asked for and what I didnt and everything just comes to blink!

As you all know, I was in love with my husband when we were 19 and both of us loves each other but when we turn 21, something happened and I swear to God it was my turning point. told myself I wont stop working so I could get marry without any false accusation and earn more. Of course usually people say "once you gonna get marry, your rezeki will be easy" well. i could agree some and not especially in term of money. my dad got cheated rm5k just a month before i got marry for his car, i didnt get my dream wedding gown dress as I have less money (usually I love to do everything myself, so having a husband doesnt change it) whether he can afford it or not, its my principal, better I do everything my own. I didnt know by doing business, i can gain more.

anyway, told my husband that "lets not get our own child within the first 6months, then we see if we're ready or not". along the way, i keep saying during my prayers and solah, "ya Allah, please only give me child whenever You think I am ready. why? because I dont think I can be a good mother, I dont think I can be a great teacher to my child and I wanna learn from time to time. only grant me with children once You think I am ready mentally and physically." I think Allah grant me all this. huhuh

First, He shows me how my surrounding deals with marriage. then He shows me how my surrounding deals with their children. then He shows me how the world treat their children. It is scary, really scary. At first I didnt notice, but then I just realize most of the things somehow have some relation to me.

1) Father Mother in Sweden - how did they raised the children. by hitting them. as I am very short tempered, i might do something to my kid. which I know I may not do that but who knows when Syaitan is my "best friend forever" since I was not close to Allah.

2) how I will control my level of patient - i dislikes kids who mengada2, talks loudly to me or whoever is elder and so much.

3) how to stop my kids from asking things that I cant afford

4) how to discipline them in a subtle way instead of shouting and do sort of other things

5) observe the people around me especially in working environment. back stabbers, bad mouthing etc. gossiping people huhuh

I have so many things I wanna say just now but my battery wasnt on my side and I lost it already now. once I remember, i will let you know. :) this is part 1