friendship

it may hurt some people but I have to let it go... and its honest from my heart...

I always wondering about my friendship with some friends... they consider me as their best friend forever, but when I came and think about it, I dont think I am their BFF after all..

why I said this? if seriously I'm their best friend forever, obviously my picture will be included in your wallpaper along with others but no... only my pictures wasnt there... dats devastating

in your phonebook list, every1 that you consider as BFF you will put "my heart" my soul and what soever, but me, its just the name... dats hurts

for others, you stay till the end, the good n the bad but for me, u just come and wish congrats... dats it! I admit, I am happy u came, but Im hurt... seriously... u never be with me all the time.. especially when Im happy or sad...

next thing i wanna say, it would make u guys think "this woman seriously crazy selfish".. u asked me to give u a gift, where when its my time, I NEVER GET ANYTHING! it does sounds like im asking for you to gift but doesnt this seem like unfair?

Does our friendship base on materials rather than sharing is caring? i have no idea at all.. Its not im asking present, but when I didnt give, you will always say "U never love me" but for me.. when I said that.... means nothing...You will mention as "Sayang..." but very dishonest way...

I know Im weird, but weird doesnt mean I dont deserve good friendship and companion...
I guess nobody understands me except for some people...
Ahzam, you are my truly sayang and I would love you till my heart beat stops and will meet u in heaven...
Thanks to my BFFs I have in the world.Ari, Iera, Surie, Fara, Yana, and Steffi...  if I left out some names, maybe its you guys... not all of you... some of you...

Sorry... seriously sorry... I just cant help my feeling...