From time to time, I have go through sweet, salty and bitter life for almost 25 years living as human. Haha Not that I use to live as an animal before, but I think being a human is hard.
Its been 1 year and 2 days of 8month being married to my husband but unfortunately we havent got any baby yet. Earlier we are still planning to have babies after 2 years of marriage but it seems like nobody cant wait patiently. Every single day, we're both were asked, "When?" "Why?" or sentences that breaks our heart such as "Others has got one, when are you getting?" or "dont wait too long, later you wouldnt get any"..
Its not that we dont want kids. We do want, honestly speaking I wanted a baby since I was 18. Hah! Amek kau! You know why? Since my nephew, Haziq was born, I am amazed to see how he has grown from day to day and I imagine if I could raise one by my own. I always wanted to adopt baby who is abandon by their parents. I am sure nowadays this topic will be interesting to discuss about since there is a lot of people who threw their babies here and there in Malaysia and within 24hrs, 3-4 reported to be found either in the drain, toilet, and all the disgusting place on earth. Why is that so? If you dont want to get pregnant, dont have sex! If you cant hold your lust, I have one idea.. Protection!! I am not supporting this sex before marriage but hey, dont you think its too much? You have done sins but dumping a sinless child to the most disgusting place in the world? What has come across your mind? Dont you know by doing that you will never be placed in heaven? Do you know that the child you threw can determine either to put you in Heaven or hell? I am dissapointed with all of you because mostly all the Malays who done this. Anyway, change topic! I'll explain in other time about this okay?
Anyway, I didnt go and check with any gyne doctors because I am quite coward into seeing doctors. Not that im afraid of the needles (although a lil) but I am more concern of the results that the doctor will pass to me. It happens once when I was in primary, I heard the doctor said that I might have lung cancer. I almost fainted when I heard that so ever since, I limit myself from eating fruits and swimming in the pool because that are the cause of my illness ( because I am kind of panic type you see, so anything that can cause my asthma worst, I'll try to avoid)... and I found out that is not the cause la.. Stupid doctor.. Just to scare the heck of me. Thats how I am avoiding to meet any of the doctors (if possibles).
Even now, I have wisdom tooths to be taken out, four of them are growing. Guess what? 2 at the bottom growing at my jaw bones so the dentist told me that I need to make an appointment with Mouth Specialist for a major surgery to my jaw. What the heck!? Obviously I wont go! Im thinking what will happen to my mouth? Am I not gonna talk for 2 months? do I have to go for mouth therapy? Noo! I need my mouth for my job.. Damn!
Because of this two unreasonable doctors, I am afraid to go for the gyne. what if she said I am a male who doesnt have eggs and only sperm?(obviously not) or my falapio tube is stuck?! or my va-jay-jay is backwards? or I dont even have any baby factories in my body? or my husband is a woman? Or my husband doesnt have any sperm and we both need to go for surgery? you know, this things may happen! So I am afraid like shit! Please pray for me that both of us will be in great condition okay?
Anyway thanks for reading my dears!
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